I Grew Up Brown County

I get to be the Chiquita Banana in the Spring Concert!

I tried out for a solo in the Christmas Concert because there were a bunch of them, but I did not get picked. I almost didn’t try out for this one because I was afraid I would lose again.

Mr. Simon left after the Christmas Concert and we have a new substitute music teacher for the rest of the school year. Mr. Simon has been playing his guitar and wearing his shaggy hair cut ever since I can remember. When we’re good in class, he’ll play “Cats in the Cradle” for us. Once, we went to see Mr. Simon perform with his band at The Daily Grind in Nashville. He waved at us from the front and played “That Filthy Cockroach,” which he sometimes sings for us in class too.

But he’s gone now. His wife got a new job and so he had to move away. And we have a new lady. She’s young and excitable and needs someone to be the Chiquita Banana since we’re singing the jingle in the Spring Concert.

I can’t even really say that I auditioned. Her selection process started with,

“Boys in one line, girls in another” then

“Line up by height” specifically

“I need someone tall to wear the skirt because it’s very long” and so

“Sarah! You get to be the Chiquita Banana! I even have a basket of fruit for you to wear on your head during the song!”

We have the concert in the gym. Rows and rows of folding chairs fill up with our parents and grandparents and baby siblings. We stand nervously at center court and warble a few tunes.

Half way through, I leave my spot in the back row and tie a red skirt around my waist and someone’s mom plunks a heavy, plastic fruit basket onto my head. When I hear the opening chords and “I’m Chiquita Banana and I come to say I come from leetle island down eQUAtor way” I shimmy and snap my upheld arms just the way I was told.

Everyone in the audience smiles. A few of my classmates snicker. I don’t care.

I get to be Chiquita Banana!

I sing a song about bananos.
I sing it low and I sing it hi-igh.
I make big hit with ‘mericanos
singing songs about bananos.