I get to be the Chiquita Banana in the Spring Concert!

I tried out for a solo in the Christmas Concert because there were a bunch of them, but I did not get picked. I almost didn’t try out for this one because I was afraid I would lose again.

Mr. Simon left after the Christmas Concert and we have a new substitute music teacher for the rest of the school year. Mr. Simon has been playing his guitar and wearing his shaggy hair cut ever since I can remember. When we’re good in class, he’ll play “Cats in the Cradle” for us. Once, we went to see Mr. Simon perform with his band at The Daily Grind in Nashville. He waved at us from the front and played “That Filthy Cockroach,” which he sometimes sings for us in class too.

But he’s gone now. His wife got a new job and so he had to move away. And we have a new lady. She’s young and excitable and needs someone to be the Chiquita Banana since we’re singing the jingle in the Spring Concert.

I can’t even really say that I auditioned. Her selection process started with,

“Boys in one line, girls in another” then

“Line up by height” specifically

“I need someone tall to wear the skirt because it’s very long” and so

“Sarah! You get to be the Chiquita Banana! I even have a basket of fruit for you to wear on your head during the song!”

We have the concert in the gym. Rows and rows of folding chairs fill up with our parents and grandparents and baby siblings. We stand nervously at center court and warble a few tunes.

Half way through, I leave my spot in the back row and tie a red skirt around my waist and someone’s mom plunks a heavy, plastic fruit basket onto my head. When I hear the opening chords and “I’m Chiquita Banana and I come to say I come from leetle island down eQUAtor way” I shimmy and snap my upheld arms just the way I was told.

Everyone in the audience smiles. A few of my classmates snicker. I don’t care.

I get to be Chiquita Banana!

I sing a song about bananos.
I sing it low and I sing it hi-igh.
I make big hit with ‘mericanos
singing songs about bananos.

The Easter Bunny came!

Easter morning, we wake up to big, brightly colored baskets full of eggs, candy, and sidewalk chalk. We gulp down as much chocolate as we can before we have to get dressed for Sunrise Service.

Getting up early on Easter morning is so much easier than other days in the year. I know a brand new Easter outfit will be laid out for me on the couch. The baskets will be lined up in a row in the living room floor, one for each of us. And at church, they will be making pancakes.

During the whole sermon, you can smell sausage and syrup wafting through the sanctuary. The new Easter dress is fabulous, of course, but the tag is kind of itchy and my tights are very tight. We pass babies from one lap to the next, straightening Easter bonnets and trying to look like we’re paying attention.

Finally, the minister asks us to bow our heads and we pray in thanksgiving for Christ Our Savior, His Death and Resurrection, and the Food We are About to Receive. The race to the food is demure. Everyone is on their best behavior. We have visitors today who don’t usually attend the service. People tend to come to church on certain Sundays, like Easter and Christmas, regardless of their habits the rest of the year.

In the afternoon, we head out to Cousin Mickey’s. She has a big yard, picnic tables, a basketball hoop, and a swing set at the bottom of the hill. We pick our way through the muddy, Spring grasses in search of tiny pink and blue plastic orbs loaded with chocolate and dollar bills.

We eat way too much. The kids are shooed outside to play, but we end up back under the grownups feet any chance we get. We gorge on pop and candy and fried chicken.

When it’s time to go home, we load up the van with leftovers and twice as many baskets as we came with. We will be pulling green and purple little strips of Easter grass out of the seat belt buckle for months. We are exhausted, sugared up, and cranky.

My brother and I squabble in the back seat and fall asleep before we reach home. The twenty minute drive is all it takes to knock us out. Tomorrow, we have to go back to school. Today, we doze away the rest of the afternoon, watching The Easter Bunny Is Coming to Town on Channel Four, munching on jelly beans while Nana, with glasses perched on the end of her nose, reads aloud the Easter story again from her leather, large print KJV Bible.

I never get up for school when I’m supposed to. Papaw comes to my room the first time, “Time to get up, Sarah!” A few minutes later, he comes by and flips on the light. Finally, he hollers out, “One foot on the floor!” and that’s when I know it’s really absolutely time to get up or I’m going to miss the bus. Then, I scramble, rush, and forget to brush my teeth and zip my coat, and run out to the end of the driveway as the bus starts to pull away. Our bus driver, Gail, always stops for us though. Those Matlock kids, always late for the bus.

On those rare days when I have time to eat Cheerios before the bus comes, I watch cartoons with my brother.

VR Troopers – kind of like the Power Rangers, except they wear digital headgear and are kind of nerdy.

Histeria! – a ridiculous cartoon with Big Fat Baby and Father Time and a museum tour guide who is always saying, “We’re walking. We’re walking. We’re stopping.”

Power Rangers – obvious.

Hercules – I love the movie Hercules and the cartoon is cool too. I love the singing statues and the little demon guys who are always messing up Hades’s plans.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – obvious. Also obvious that this is the original, well before the digitization, computerized version. Yuck.

Sailor Moon – Oh, I want to be her! "Fighting evil and moonlight. Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight."

Animaniacs – “Hellooooo, Nurse!”

Tiny Toons – kind of like Looney Toons, except they are all really young and at school together and still getting into all kinds of trouble.

Fraggle Rock – My absolute favorite! Puppets that live in a cave and try to avoid the giant trolls that are always hunting them. Fortunately, the trolls aren’t very smart. Man, those Fraggles sure love to sing.

Gummy Bears – "bouncing here and there and everywhere! High adventure that’s beyond compare!" This is probably where I develop my sense of “high adventure” that will last well into my twenties.

Care Bears – I am such a softy. I cry easily and I can’t take being teased and I love everything the Care Bears stand for. They just want to love and hug and help and treat people well. If I could, I would move to Care-a-Lot and live the rest of my life there.

Uh oh! I have to go! The bus is here!